I don't know why but this feeling to blog just came upon me. Maybe because I have so much on my mind I just needed some kind of release.
As I said above It's been so long and so much has happened I almost don't know where to start, before I do start though, this is for me and if you don't want to read it..... don't!
My illness (bi-polar) has taken hold of my life so much that I cant leave the house on my own anymore, the only time I go out is if Danny or Graham are with me. I even ended up in Mental Health unit for 3 weeks, but I signed myself out as I hated it so much and they were bloody hopeless, if you are a drunk or a junkie yeah you are great other than that just get on with it! This is so debilitating but believe it or not I am starting to make it work, which is sad as I used to love going out and about and now it just terrifies me. Probably the saddest thing of all is I have lost friends because of this, this upsets me greatly but nothing can be done as I just cannot visit them anymore. I spend lots of time sleeping nowadays as it stops me thinking and right now that is a very good thing. My sister, Lyn, is dying of cancer and every day the thought of that phone ringing just puts me into melt down. She has done very well to come as far as she has, she was diagnosed in April, she really is a little medical miracle. Only this morning though my Dad has phoned to say that the beginning of the end is starting, she has become really ill over the last two days and I really cannot bear it. It was only in Feb this year that we lost my father in law so to go through all this again really is too much to take. My poor mother in law is in hospital as well, she went in to get her new knee nearly 3 weeks ago and things have just gone downhill for her. She became so dehydrated, then she stopped eating and now has a feeding tube, and to top it all off she has an infection in her new knee, and has to go back in in a couple of months for a new knee as thy only gave her a temporary one because of the infection. Bloody NHS... we are all so exhausted with the emotion none of us know what to do with ourselves right now.
Some good news though, the kids are all doing fine, better than fine. Shug is doing well at school as is Drew and Danny has now left school and has bagged himself not one but two jobs. He will start his main job as a Youth Worker in a couple of weeks, he is even doing two training courses at night to further his youth work before he has even started the job, but in the mean time he is working in a spanish deli. He is loving it and is working as much as he can as he loves the company and probably glad to get out of the house.. lol...
Graham is very busy with work, he has just come back from 3 days in Germany and will be travelling down south shortly for a week to do a trade show. He hates being away from home, so he says!, but needs must. We have decided once things have all calmed down (not the write wording but you know what I mean) we are going to take another trip back to America, cannot wait as we all really need some time to relax.
As for my crafting, well, I got offered a space in a shop to sell my cards, delighted was not the word, so I set to and made over 100 cards, the usual, the guy changed his mind and I am now stuck with 100 cards, so this has really put me off my crafting and have hardly touched anything. Shaun asked me to make jewellery for his girlfriend (HE'S ONLY 13!!) for Christmas so made a few bits and pieces, other than that... nada!
I have gutted out my craft room as I need to start occupying my mind and I am going to see if I can get back into scrapbooking, I have so many photos from our last America trip and I really need to work on them. Watch this space.
I know a lot of you think this blog is supposed to be about craft but really it is about me and what I want to put into it. So I apologise if you are looking for craft ramblings but you are just gonna have to wait a while until I get my life back into some sort of order and my mojo back
Take care
Heather
xx
